okay so i have been mia but here is the deal

I lied in bed 2 Monday nights ago writing a blog entry in my head and decided against it as it would have been so angry and frustrated and sad but now a week and a half later I write this so very happy, more comfortable and extremely relieved. Keegan and I have been struggling on how to get Ava out of our bed and into her crib and in her own room. We had tried all the approaches that we knew of or could read about and we getting very discouraged. The first night we tried to be tough and go in every so often and check on her we gave up after 5 1/2 hours of crying and brought her to our bed... we thought it was insane and felt awful and I cried the majority of the time too. I also really missed her sleeping next to me. Well at the her nine month check up the doctor said it was really time and that she no longer needed to nurse during the night and we had to just lay down the law and be tough. It was awful. We came back from visiting Arwen and jumped right in. It was miserable really really the worst but the doctor was right.... and after a few bad nights... like awful no sleep nights..... 8-9 hours of screaming and a little baby without a voice in the morning she realized that she can sleep in her crib and that we always come. It was an adjustment for all of us and it is still a work in progress. Sometimes she still wakes up in the middle of the night and crys but she goes to bed in her own crib and complains but then goes to sleep relativly quickly... like under 10 mins.
Ahhhhh relief. My life has changed. Ava is now on a schedule which makes it possible for me to plan my day a bit better and we all get a much better nights sleep. I no longer wake up grumpy and exausted from sleeping on the very edge of the bed with a foot in my face. Honestly Ava is so small but she can take up a lot of the king bed.
I miss snuggiling her to sleep and occasionally napping with her in the day..... but someday we will get it so it works both ways. Keegan and I actually get to spend some time together now and bedtime is when we decide and it is not nearly the fight or games that it used to be. Hopefully this keeps up and involves less and less and no tears but this time last week I never thought that this would really happen. I am really so much happier and i think Ava is starting to be happier to and no longer mad at me.
After this we will tackle weening from nursing. But we will give the sleeping thing a bit more time first.